


until death do us part

by ColorfulWarlock



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Abusive Parents, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Animal Death, BAMF Alec Lightwood, BAMF Magnus Bane, Blood, Brainwashing, Broken Soul, Canon-Typical Violence, Childhood Sweethearts, Dark Alec Lightwood, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Hellhounds, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Magnus Bane's Omamori Charm, Malec Discord Mini Bang 2020, Mementos, Minor Character Death, Time Skips, Warlock Alec Lightwood, Warlock Magnus Bane, edom, self-sacrificing idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:28:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26312680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorfulWarlock/pseuds/ColorfulWarlock
Summary: In the past, a still traumatized six-year old Magnus thought he would have to endure the darkness of Edom alone. Until another child – a boy with dark hair, pale skin and bright hazel eyes – found him and lighted up his heart.In the present, the High Warlock of Brooklyn Magnus Bane works with the Shadowhunters and other Downworlders to bring Valentine down. What he doesn’t expect is that Valentine controls a very powerful being, and how to fight someone to whom you give your heart centuries ago?
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 62
Kudos: 270
Collections: Malec Discord Mini Bang 2020





	1. My heart goes toward you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Skylar102](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylar102/gifts).



> This fic was created for the Malec Discord Mini Bang 2020 hosted by the [Malec Discord Server](https://discord.gg/5nBgEp8).
> 
> The song I used in all chapters is a Korean one called "Forgetting You" by Davichi. It's a beautiful yet sad song that has the perfect melody for this story.
> 
> Thank you so much to my amazing artist [Eternally Silver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternallySilverMagnusandAlec/pseuds/EternallySilverMagnusandAlec) for creating this beautiful moodboard on chapter 1 ❤
> 
> And thank you [Morgan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skylar102/pseuds/Skylar102), for being the best cheerleader I could get to write this until the end 🥰
> 
> This is not beta-ed, so I'm sorry for any mistakes. Bear with me, please 😭

_I’m holding in my breath  
And looking at you  
As if the world has stopped  
Like the passing wind  
Even if you don’t see me  
My heart goes toward you_

_Edom was terrifying. It was always hot, too hot to even breathe sometimes. The sky was a bright red, an incandescent flame that would never cease to burn. Day and night were one, stars were nonexistent. Colors like green, blue and pink didn’t exist. Plants were constantly dead, but some tree barks stubbornly resisted as a mockery to the realm. The closest things to animals were the vast species of demons – creatures that wouldn’t hesitate to eat you if showed the smallest sign of weakness._

_Magnus hated that place. He missed his homeland, his flowers, the ocean. He missed the annual festivities, the food, people._

_He missed his mama so much._

_But he had his papa now. The only one in the entire world with cat-eyes like his. So, it should be okay, right? His papa promised to teach him magic._

_His papa promised to love him, but Magnus didn’t remember love being so painful._

_Asmodeus’ words were always so cruel._

Weak, pathetic, useless.

Be better, be stronger.

Manipulate, hurt, kill.

Disgrace, disgrace.

Nobody will love you. Only me. You only have me.

_Magnus was beginning to believe in those words. Sometimes his magic – a beautiful hue of blue that he felt so proud of – would become red. Then purple. There were days it turned black, and those days were the worst, because he could always hear the screams, the pleads, the cries. And Magnus… Magnus was beginning to like that. All that power, all that control._

_Darkness felt so good._

_However, Magnus was scared. He didn’t want to like it, but during those days his papa smiled and said how proud he was. Surely, it was enough, right?_

_Most of the time, it was very lonely too. Asmodeus was a busy demon, always being summoned or traveling to other parts of the realm or to another hell dimension. During those days, Magnus was left alone in their big castle. It was also boring. Aside from him and his papa, there were only demons in Edom. Oh, there was auntie Lilith too, but papa hated her, so Magnus wasn’t allowed to visit._

_It was during one of Asmodeus’ many trips that Magnus met_ him.

_Being left alone, always meant that some demon would try to kill Magnus._ If you can’t even kill an insignificant demon, you deserve to die, _his papa would always say. So, Magnus would puff his chest and call his magic, ready for any sudden attack._

_Usually, it was very easy. One or two silly edomi trying their luck. But this time, a whole pack of at least twenty edomi surrounded him. Magnus felt scared for the first time. It was too much for him, his magic still improving._

_Was he going to die?_

_“Mama…” he whimpered while hitting another edomi with a fireball. Almost half of them were dead, nothing more than a pool of disgust ichor, but his magic was already depleting. Magnus felt so, so tired. Maybe, if he closed his eyes, it would end fast. He would die without feeling anything._

_Thus, he did just that. He closed his eyes and waited._

_Waited._

_Waited._

_But nothing happened._

_Opening his eyes slowly, he could see the remnant demons exploding with a silver arrow craved on their heads. The arrows shone with a multitude of colors before disappearing on thin air._

_“Are you alright?”_

_Magnus’ head snapped so fast in the direction of the voice, he almost gave himself whiplash._

_Crouching on the top of a rock behind Magnus there was a boy. His skin was very pale, a starch contrast to his ink-black hair and bright hazel eyes. He was holding a bow, also with mesmerizing rainbow colors fluttering around it, until making it disappear with a wave of his hands._

_“Who are you?” Magnus asked a bit warily yet hopeful for seeing another kid in that place._

_“Uh...” The boy paused, looking hesitant. Then, his eyes sparkled, and he smiled. “Alexander.”_

_“Is it really?”_

_“Ugh, okay, no. I don’t have a name actually. Lilith only calls me ‘boy’. I think I can choose a name if I want. You can call me Alec, since it’s shorter,” Alec shrugged while approaching Magnus._

_“You live with auntie Lilith?” Magnus blinked, tilting his head a little bit to the side._

_“Yeah, my mom didn’t like me, so she sold me to Lilith. I think this is my home now,” Alec worried his bottom lip, glancing at the stained sand near his foot. It wasn’t a happy topic, but it felt good to talk to someone who wasn’t an adult._

_Magnus felt sad for that boy. He also hadn’t a mama anymore, so he understood._

_“My name is Magnus. I’m six, and I live with my papa in a castle,” then he frowned and nodded, as if coming to a decision. “Alec is cool, but I like Alexander more.” Although his tongue made a little strange curl inside his mouth to pronounce the whole name._

_Alec genuinely smiled with that._

_“I’m eight, and I live in a castle too. And I very much like your name.”_

_Magnus beamed, feeling a bubbly, honest happiness since he first came to Edom. Then, something came to his mind and he felt the urgency to ask._

_“If you could choose any name, then why Alexander?”_

_Alec hummed. “I saw in a book at the castle. It means ‘protector’. Since I’m older, I want to protect you, so it’s a perfect name.”_

_It was the first time blue wisps danced blissfully around Magnus’ small hands._

~*~

Magnus was happy. Even with all the constant danger that loomed over his head – well, when the Shadow World wasn’t at the precipice of doom? – he found himself in a good place after centuries of trials and errors. He had a good job as the High Warlock of Brooklyn, helping all the warlocks in New York to find peace and lead good lives; his home was a big loft with the best view to Brooklyn Bridge, a safe haven to any Downworlder who needed and a welcoming place to any stray cat looking for food and love.

He had good friends – people he could call _family_. Ragnor, Catarina, Raphael, Tessa. Even the ever blabbering vampire Simon was growing in his heart as one more lost person who needed guidance in a world where all the legends were true.

Hell, he had _Shadowhunters_ as friends. If someone had told Magnus decades before that he was going to be attached to some children of Angels, he would have laughed his ass off and offered for free a potion against madness. But here he was, covering and helping a small group that followed him like ducklings. Sure, they always wanted to ask for some favor, but they were good people. Finally a generation of Nephilim that was _trying_ to be better and not the bigoted assholes of their ancestors.

There were four in particular.

First, Clary and Jonathan Fray. During Valentine Morgenstern’s fall, Jocelyn Fairchild was able to escape with her two kids with the help of Luke Garroway. It was a hard time, especially knowing that Valentine had experimented on both children, but with love and patience, Clary and Jonathan thrived as incredible warriors. Jonathan learned that demon blood wasn’t an excuse for bad behavior, and after a lot of training and meditation, he got control of any evil urge and focused his strength in helping the weak.

Then, there was Jonathan’s _parabatai_ , Jonathan Christopher Herondale. Magnus didn’t remember any other _parabatai_ pair with the same name, but it wasn’t really a surprise seeing how attached to the hip the two boys were since Jace was rescued from Valentine’s claws. And it wouldn't be a surprise too if they ended up becoming brothers-in-law in the future – Jace was head over heels for Clary, and even if Jonathan denied, Magnus could see that the couple had the boy’s blessing.

At last, Isabelle Lightwood, the elder child of Maryse and Robert Lightwood. If being friends with Valentine’s children was already a hell of development, the unexpected scenario of liking and shopping with a Lightwood was a whiplash. Isabelle was a delight, and the best head the New York Institute ever had.

Yes, Magnus was happy.

But there was still a void in his chest, a hole where the other half of his heart should be.

He missed his Alexander.

Over the centuries, Magnus had a lot of lovers, but none was able to fill that part of himself that was missing.

When he arrived at the mortal realm on that fateful day, he felt lost. It didn’t matter how many plans he and Alec had made – without the other warlock, nothing made sense. And oh, Magnus tried so many times to go back there. To rescue his love, or to accept a life in hell if it meant staying with the only person who mattered. But he couldn’t – something was blocking him. He couldn’t understand, and many times that angered him. Why, why Alec pushed him? They were supposed to fight together, side by side. Not… Not…

Magnus also hoped that Alec would come someday. After three centuries, he certainly was powerful enough to make a portal and leave Edom. But Alec never came, and that hurt Magnus even more. Did he give up on them? No, Alec would never do that, Magnus was sure. During the first century, Magnus summoned demons to have news of Alec, but it was always in vain. They knew nothing – it was as if Alec had disappeared from the Universe.

Magnus’ heart hurt. After another century, it was only radio silence from Edom, and Magnus eventually stopped trying. His friends told him it wasn’t healthy, and he needed to move on. 

He touched the _omamori_ charm he always carried with him in his pocket. Alec’s magic was still there – very faint – but he could still feel it. It was the only thing he had to keep his shattered heart from scattering for good. His only hope.

“Magnus?” Izzy’s voice cut through the fog of reminiscence, and Magnus blinked a bit confused.

Ah, yes, he was in a meeting with everyone in the Ops Center of the Institute.

“Are you okay?” Clary asked, touching his forearm.

Magnus exhaled, pushing all the pain to the depths of his core, and brought out his happy, charming persona to pretend casualness and lightness.

“Apologies, I’ve spent so much time here today that all these flickering screens are beginning to distract me,” he waved a hand gracefully, giving a cheeky smile to Izzy and Clary – which earned a snort from Jace and a frown from Jonathan.

“Do you want to wrap up for today?”

“No, no. Let’s continue. We have to find a way to stop those attacks before more people die.”

Valentine was back. It took some weeks, but the mad Shadowhunter wasn’t shy on his comeback, and a gruesome slaughter of Downworlders started. Kidnappings, threats, murders. Magnus had to reinforce the Institute’s wards since it was also clear that Valentine wanted to get his hands on his ex-wife and kids. On top of that, he was looking for the three Mortal Instruments.

Magnus suspected that a warlock was helping him. A very powerful one – which, honestly, was very confusing. Everyone knew about Valentine’s experiments on Downworlders, and how some could do anything the Circle leader demanded due to his injections. A young or weak warlock could fall easily on his hands, but a strong one? Why help a sadistic man to destroy their own race?

If Magnus caught this warlock, he would personally send him to the Spiral Labyrinth to get the heaviest sentence.

It was infuriating how he wasn’t able to track that bastard’s magic or rip their wards. Last time he tried to get to a warehouse where a pack of werewolves was being kept, he almost depleted his magic just to make a damn hole. Dark magic was always a delicate issue and hard to break through, and he refused to tap on that deep part of his core where his demonic self was hidden. It would give him a boost of power, yes, but it wasn’t worth losing himself in the process.

Alec had taught him that.

Oh, well.

Suddenly, the Institute’s alarms blared, angry red lights flashing all around.

“There is a distress call from the City of Bones. They are under attack,” Underhill informed, and a shocked gasp escaped the lips of some Shadowhunters. The Silent Brothers had some of the most powerful wards, how the hell someone was able to put them down?”

“It’s Valentine. He must be after the Soul Sword,” Jace clenched his teeth, his runes already activating by themselves and ready for action.

“Get ready, we are going there in five,” Izzy commanded, her eyes quickly going through the screens to gather all the images provided by the cameras’ feed around the sanctuary. For a moment, Magnus swore he caught the glimpse of a tall man, hidden in a heavy black cloak and surrounded by dark wisps, in a corner near the entrance. By the way his hands were moving, he might be the warlock he was looking for.

And oh, Magnus would catch him.

It was a carnage. All the Silent Brothers were dead, each in a more gruesome way than the other. Magnus was certain that he could hear a Shadowhunter in the back throwing up. He could feel the telltale of dark magic in the air – one that caused goosebumps even on him.

Strange. It felt familiar somehow, but _wrong_.

When they arrived at the last chamber, where the Soul Sword was kept, the stench of blood and burned flesh were even worse – as if the corpses were already at an advanced stage of decomposition. At the far end, Valentine Morgenstern held the Soul Sword without any care in the world, the victorious grin of a mad man painted on his face.

Magnus and the Shadowhunters moved at the same time to reach him, but an invisible force threw them back. Taking a moment to get to their feet again, they saw another figure present there – the same one Magnus saw before, covered by a cloak and circled by dark magic.

“Why are you helping him?!” Magnus shouted, angry red magic flaring from his fists.

The only answer he got was Valentine’s laugh.

Then, chaos ensued.

Circle members appeared from all directions, ready to kill the Shadowhunters. Magnus, however, focused only on the warlock. He attacked first, sending a blast of fire towards their mysterious enemy. The warlock evaded with ease, promptly attacking back with his own black fireball.

The walls started to tremble, cracks formed on the floor.

Circle members fell one by one, but unfortunately some backup Shadowhunters too. In the end, the only enemies left were Valentine – who was totally, _annoyingly_ at ease as if his victory was something granted – and the warlock.

“This was fun, but unfortunately I still have things to do, so playtime is over.” He sheathed the Soul Sword on his back and turned to the warlock. “Let’s go.”

The warlock waved a hand and a portal formed behind Valentine’s back, letting him go first. When he was about to follow, Magnus made a last desperate attempt.

He hit the warlock square on the head, burning the hood to a crisp and revealing his face.

A face Magnus hasn’t seen for centuries.

“No.”

The warlock turned in their direction, magic cracking around him, demonic eyes without an ounce of emotion.

“No, no.”

He was different from the last time they saw each other. His shoulders were broader, his features were sharper, there was stubble on his face and his messy hair was a bit longer, almost covering his eyes – ah, the eyes… the warm hazel gone. 

Nonetheless, he still was Alexander. His Alexander.

Magnus’ knees buckled and he fell hard on the stone floor, shock written all over his face.

“What happened to you?”

Again, there was no answer. Only an indifferent stare, and then Alec was gone.


	2. Loving you, forgetting you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First flashback - Magnus (16) and Alec (18)  
> Second flashback - Magnus (15) and Alec (17)

_Loving you  
Is such a painful thing  
Feelings that can’t be emptied  
Is such a sad thing  
Forgetting you  
Is such a hard thing  
It’s me turning around and crying  
My sad dream_

_“Hey! No spying!” Alec glared at Magnus over his shoulder, trying to hide the memento with his large hands._

_Magnus only rolled his eyes fondly, but shrugged, going back to his own memento to put more magic into it._

_After finally confessing their feelings to each other, they decided to officiate it with something special. Something for each one to carry and always remember their requited love. For that, they spent some days reading books about magical objects and how to create them. Then, after coming up with the perfect gift, they infused their own magic so both could always carry a little piece of the other._

_“Are you done?” Magnus asked from his spot on the large rock they chose to sit. It was a surprisingly pleasant place. Being near a grotto, there was a natural shadow covering the area, protecting them from the heat and flying demons. A small safe haven amidst the hell._

_“Yeah,” Alec turned to him with a soft smile. Magnus couldn’t help but mirror it, his eyes crinkling on the corners._

_“I’ll go first then!” Magnus sat even closer to him, never one to shy from touch. Mainly Alec’s touch. “Here,” he opened his hand where a simple yet oozing power silver band was. “I know you don’t wear rings like me, but since you suggested for us to make something to symbolize ourselves…” Magnus’ voice was suddenly uncertain, insecurity bleeding from it._

_Alec, however, could have none of that._

_“It’s perfect, Magnus. Just let me…” He swiped his hand over Magnus’, colorful sparkles flying from it. A chain appeared, securing the ring, so Alec could wear it on his neck. “I don’t mind rings, but the day I wear one will be the same day I also put one on your finger,” and to make his point, he grabbed Magnus’ left hand and kissed the only finger that mattered._

_Magnus wasn’t one to blush easily, but Alec always had a way to surprise him._

_“Sap,” he muttered, but there wasn’t heat in his statement._

_“Only for you,” Alec kissed his cheek, earning a timid smile from Magnus._

_One of his favorites._

_Then, Alec revealed his memento to Magnus – an omamori charm made of red silk and gold threads._

_“To bring you luck and protection,” Alec grinned, making Magnus’ heart stutter even more inside his chest._

_“Oh Alexander…” Magnus blinked back tears, feeling even more certain about this beautiful thing that was blossoming between him and Alec. Then, he whispered, too afraid some malicious intent could hear him and curse the only good thing from that literal God-forsaken place. “I love you.”_

_“I love you too, Magnus.”_

_The kiss they shared was the sealing of a promise._

_Of a future with twin rings and golden sheets._

~*~

Magnus downed his seventh glass of whiskey. Or was it eighth? He couldn’t remember, and it didn’t matter anyway. Half of his living room was destroyed and he couldn’t care less. He had replayed his encounter with Alec at least a thousand times, and none of them made a damn sense.

First things first. Alec was in the mortal realm. He left Edom. That was good. Actually, it was amazing. So, why did he never contact Magnus? And his magic… Magnus remembered how colorful it was, something very rare for a warlock. It was the prettiest and most perfect thing Magnus had ever seen. But now… Now it was a sickly black. Like his eyes.

What the fuck happened in Edom? All that time there finally won Alec over? Did he surrender to the darkness and finally accepted his position as Lilith’s son?

No. No, Alec would never do that. Perhaps it wasn’t a conscious thing. Perhaps that wasn’t the real Alec. If he could talk to Alec and _understand_ what was happening, he could help. Yes, that was the best solution. Especially because his time was running out.

Now that the identity of the warlock who was helping Valentine was finally revealed, they put a price on Alec’s head. He was certainly going to be executed if he got caught – if not by the Clave, then by the Warlock Council.

Magnus couldn’t let that happen. If he made Alec see reason and stop all the killing, maybe there would be a chance for negotiation. He would pull all the favors he collected along the years – even from the Warlock Council – and request to advocate in Alec’s favor, fighting for an opportunity to avoid the death sentence.

He only had to talk to Alec.

Unfortunately, to track Alec down, he needed something from him, and Magnus had nothing. It’s not like they had time to pack things up in Edom, and even if they did, the way Alec threw him into that portal didn’t give him a chance to grab a memento–

A memento.

The _omamori_ charm.

Magnus took it from his pocket and closed his hand around it. Alec’s magic was very faint, but it would be enough for a tracking spell.

He couldn’t wait to bring Alec home.

~*~

_They moved in synchrony, making a perfect circle, eyes never leaving each other. Their hands hovered on air, sparkles of magic running around their fingers._

_“You are so cute when you’re serious,” Magnus teased, a smirk on his face. He grew up as a fabulous warlock, a confident man, Asmodeus’ abuse not getting into him anymore._

_“Stop flirting with me,” Alec warned, quickly deflecting a burst of magic from Magnus. “We are supposed to be training. Your powers have been growing a lot lately, but you still need to learn how to defend yourself without it.”_

_Magnus pouted for a moment, but soon was grinning. “I’ll show you how my body is spectacular, darling.” And before Alec could retort, Magnus was already advancing, throwing fireballs after fireballs. Alec defended himself against each of them, nulling some while sending others to different directions. They exploded against trees and rocks, causing a big disturbance in the air. Demons would screech in outrage, but none dared to approach the two warlocks._

_They’ve started this routine of training to hone themselves and be ready to run away from their guardians when the right time came. They mixed magic with physical moves, Magnus being better in the former while Alec mastered the latter. It never really ended with a winner – both were too good and too stubborn –, so they only stopped when the exhaustion or magic depletion started to slow their movements._

_Punches, kicks, round kicks, headlocks. Sometimes they summoned some sort of weapon, but often would go hand by hand._

_Which usually ended up with one of them on the ground being straddled by the other._

_This time, Alec was the one being pinned down. Magnus was even holding the older warlock’s wrists above his head, their noses almost touching. They could feel each other’s breath, a delicious tingle on their skin. It was the most dangerous position they could be. The kind of position impossible to get free._

_Not because it was difficult, but because they_ didn’t want _to._

_“Alexander…” Magnus whispered softly, almost reverently._

_Alec felt weak. How could he not when Magnus did_ things _to him? He licked his lips, something that didn’t go unnoticed by his best friend. They were so used to kissing each other on the forehead or on the cheek, so why not try other places?_

_“I’m going to kiss you now, Alexander.”_

_Oh._

_“Please,” Alec breathed out, incapable of resisting Magnus Bane._

_It was just a soft touch of lips in the beginning, slow and sweet._

Be mine.

_Then, it grew to a passionate, almost desperate rhythm._

Don’t go away.

_Magnus nibbled at Alec’s bottom lip, asking for permission, and Alec gave it to him. Alec would give anything to him._

Please, stay with me.

_It was messy – lips, tongue and teeth – but they wouldn’t want it in another way. It was a discovery, a blossoming of new feelings and tentative touches._ _A beginning._

_A promise._

~*~

“Alexander!”

It wasn’t easy. Every time Magnus was close to getting to Alec, Alec got away. Most of the time, Magnus could barely glance at the other warlock. Alec would simply disappear, and Magnus had to restart the tracking spell. It was tiresome.

They spent days in that cat and mouse game, Alec always slipping through his fingers while the Shadowhunters continued their hunt for Valentine, going for the all-kill when they also located Alec. Sometimes, Magnus and Alec would fight – though Magnus never dared to hurt him. He still had hope of talking to Alec and put some sense into him.

Magnus thought he finally got an opportunity when he found the warlock alone again near a vampire den. Alec turned to him slowly, emotionless, as if not recognizing who Magnus was.

“Alec, please. We need to talk,” Magnus approached him cautiously while showing his hands – he needed to show Alec he wasn’t there to fight or hurt him.

Alec, however, still wouldn’t reply. He only stared blankly at Magnus, ignoring his pleas. He was about to leave again when his eyes caught the object cocooned by Magnus’s hands. A quick spark of recognition flashed through the black storm of his eyes, but was gone too soon.

Instead of joy, there was rage.

And Alec attacked Magnus.

It soon became an inferno. Magic crackled in the air, glass from nearby windows shattered, and the trash littering the dirty alley floor caught on fire. At some point, it wasn’t only magical outbursts – they got to hand on hand, exchanging punches and kicks, much similar to when they were teenagers and trained together.

Although now it wasn’t for fun.

Alec aimed to kill, and Magnus wouldn’t let him.

After a particular punch accompanied by an electric blast, Magnus was thrown to the far end of the alley, crashing against the wall. Alec moved to approach him and deliver the killing blow when he saw Magnus’ _omamori_ charm on the floor – which had probably fallen during the hit.

Alec looked at it for a long moment while Magnus tried to get his bearings, and after a minute of consideration extended his hand in its direction, palm opened. 

When Magnus realized what Alec was about to do, he barely had time to scream before a fireball burned the _omamori_ , turning it into nothing more than ashes and forgotten promises.

His _omamori_ … His most precious possession… gone.

Magnus gasped, refusing to cry. Not in front of that… that _stranger_.

_And if you can’t save him, Magnus_? Izzy asked once after he told her and the others about his story with Alec.

Alec didn’t show any reaction or remorse for what he had just done. He simply turned around and entered a portal, leaving.

The tears finally spilled and he sobbed, broken like his aching heart.

_Then I’ll kill him myself._


	3. As if they know my heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First flashback - Magnus (9) and Alec (11)  
> Second flashback - Alec (194)

_My dear, don’t forget  
My unstoppable love  
Your eyes  
They’re looking at me  
As if they know my heart_

_“It’s too hot...” Magnus complained for the umpteenth time._

_Edom, by nature, was already hot. However, there were days when the temperature would rise a lot, almost as if the entire realm was blazing. The dry air and the hotness drained a lot of the ones who were only half-demon, so it was an awfully hard time for Magnus and Alec, but especially for Magnus._

_His clothes were drenched in sweat, his hair was glued on his face and he felt as if he had just eaten a whole bowl of sand._

_“Too hot, Alec,” he whined, turning to his best friend with big pleading golden cat-eyes._

_Alec snorted, rolling his eyes for the younger’s antics. Still, he could never deny anything to Magnus. Taking out his shirt and letting go of his glamour, he let his magic wash him over until his Warlock mark appeared._

_A pair of fluff wolf ears appeared on top of his head, the white fur a blasting contrast against his messy black-ink hair. His nails grew into claws, and more white fur covered his body, mainly his arms and chest area._

_Magnus made a sound of delight and promptly threw himself into Alec’s open arms._

_Usually, all that fur should make one feel even warmer, but Alec’s body was the opposite. It was cool, refreshing like ice. Magnus could almost purr in relief._

_“You are the best, you know that?” Magnus confessed, rubbing his cheek on Alec’s furry chest._

_Alec didn’t reply, but he held Magnus a tiny bit tighter, a light blush covering his cheeks. If he could continue making Magnus this happy, he wouldn’t need anything else._

_“Why is your heart beating so fast?” The young warlock looked up with a curious gaze, his golden eyes shining under the dim light of the realm._

_“Because you are here,” Alec admitted softly, smiling in a way that always made Magnus’ own heart flutter. “It beats for you. It will forever beat for only you, Magnus Bane.”_

_~*~_

_Alec was exhausted. The conflict between Lilith and Asmodeus was at its breaking point, and soon another war would descend upon the whole realm. Due to that, not only Lilith was forcing him to deal with Asmodei demons that tried to sneak into the castle, but she was also siphoning his energy to feed the wards around it. It wasn’t uncommon now for Alec to black out for two or three days when she needed his powers._

_He slumped against the door of his bedroom and slid to the floor, too tired to even get to his bed. Indah promptly ran to him, laying beside him and resting her big head onto his lap._

_“You know… It has been 174 years today since he was gone, Indah.” Alec sank his fingers on the Hellhound's fur, absentmindedly caressing his only friend. “I miss him. I miss him so much it hurts...”_

_He bumped his head against the hardwood door, feeling the welcoming burn in his eyes._

_How many times did he cry?_

_How many times did he beg to go back in time and change that day? Maybe tell his other self to be more careful, be faster. To open the portal and just jump. To cancel their plans and try another day._

_Magnus’ absence was opening a hole in his soul, and he didn’t know how long it would take until he stopped feeling anything. Until the love and hope would turn into numbness._

_Until the void would welcome the insistent call of darkness from the realm._

_A voice so sweet, so tempting._

_If he just closed his eyes, maybe the pain would go away. Maybe the shadows would welcome him. Maybe–_

_A sudden bark from Indah made Alec open his eyes, startled. When did he close them? Blinking hard, as if trying to see through a thick fog with bleary eyes, he noticed the blue wisps of magic whirling around his hands._

_Not colorful. Not a rainbow._

_Blue. Only blue._

_Magnus’ blue._

_Alec gasped, feeling lost. What was happening?_

_Slowly, like a blanket, his magic cocooned him. He could feel the warmth coming from the ring on his neck, feeble remains of Magnus’ magic infused in it. Sentient magic? Some sparkles touched his skin like butterfly kisses._

_It was protecting him from the realm’s calling._

_“Magnus…” He whispered reverently before being lulled to a deep, calming slumber._

_After that day, his magic remained a soothing, beautiful azure blue._

~*~

After the Soul Sword, Valentine focused on retrieving the Mortal Cup. It was well hidden inside a tarot card by Jocelyn, even kept in a safe only Isabelle had access, so unless Valentine dared to invade the Institute, he would never put his hands on it.

Until he got a trade coin. 

More specifically, he kidnapped Izzy’s little brother Max, and promised to release him in exchange for the cup. They all knew it was a trap, but it was a risk they accepted to take – even going against the Clave. Isabelle affirmed that she didn’t care if that cost her position as Head of the Institute. She couldn’t lose her only brother.

Magnus promised to help them get Max back. Mainly because he knew Alec would be there. He wasn’t going to give up on Alec that easily.

Again, it was an intense battle – this time, besides the Circle members, they had to deal with Forsakens too. The place also didn’t help; they were at an old factory, huge cauldrons active for illegal reasons, turning the entire place into a big sauna. When, once more, only Alec was still on his feet, everything stopped.

Magnus, Isabelle, Clary, Jace and Jonathan waited for the next blow. They still haven’t found Max, but they knew he was somewhere nearby, so Izzy had delegated some Shadowhunters to look for him.

Droplets of sweat bloomed and glided gently on their bodies. The tension was palpable, breaths were held, and nobody dared to make a sound. Alec’s dark magic continued sparkling around his hands, probably also waiting for the minimum gesture from someone to finally attack.

It was so hot, it was difficult to even think. 

But somehow, that brought memories.

Memories of a scorched land and fiery-red sky. Of demons screeching and sand floating in the air.

“I’m hot,” Magnus mumbled but could also have screamed as silent as everything was. He felt a little lightheaded, but repeated the words. “I’m too hot.”

Jace, Clary, Izzy and Jonathan looked at him as if he had grown a second head. But Magnus didn’t pay attention to any of them. His glazed golden eyes were fixed on the warlock before him.

A very, very confused warlock.

Because, for a moment, Alec’s dark energy halted. His glamour dropped without his consent, and fluffy wolf ears appeared on his head, as well as thick white fur on his arms – they were covered by Alec’s coat, but Magnus could see glimpses of the fur poking out of the sleeves.

That wasn’t the only change, however. Alec’s magic started to transform. Magnus expected to see all the colors it sparkled before, never staying at the same one for much longer.

What he didn’t expect was to see just one – unchangeable – color. Blue.

The same blue of his own magic.

_Oh, Alexander…_

Alec blinked, utterly confused, and the black eyes disappeared, becoming the warm hazel eyes Magnus fell in love centuries ago.

_My Alexander…_

An ugly, loud sob escaped Magnus’ lips. His Alexander was still there. He hasn’t lost him. 

“Please, Alexander. I’m too hot,” Magnus insisted, opening his arms towards his love.

Alec’s lips trembled and his eyes shone with unshed tears.

“Magnus…” he whispered and another sob broke from Magnus.

“Yes, it’s me. Come here, love, please. Come to me.” He didn’t care if he was begging now. He didn’t care if the Shadowhunters were going to judge him. He spent centuries waiting to have Alec in his arms again, centuries to listen to his name being said by that husky voice. 

Alec started to move, but his steps faltered as soon as a high pitch from a whistle echoed. He hastily covered his ears, but couldn’t keep the sound out. It entered his head and banged his brain.

Banged, banged, banged, until Alec fell on his knees and cried.

Then, when it stopped and Alec opened his eyes, they were black again. His glamour was up and the warm lines of the man Magnus loved so much were gone, leaving only the cold and empty shell once more.

“No—” Magnus moved to try and get near Alec, but a wave of power hit him and all the others, sending them flying away.

“Did you really think your tricks would work, Warlock?” Valentine taunted, reappearing while holding a silver whistle near his lips with one hand and the Mortal Cup with the other. “Didn’t you know that well-trained dogs only need a good incentive to remember who their owners are?”

Magnus tried to get up, his whole body trembling and aching. He wanted to rip Valentine’s throat off. How dare he? 

How dare he kidnap Max?

How dare he control Alexander?

Valentine smirked at him, then left through a portal – again. Alec was about to follow him when he suddenly stopped. For a moment, Magnus thought he was going to stay, to say that everything was alright and Valentine didn’t control him anymore. However, Alec only looked over his shoulder – first at Magnus, then at the nearest cauldron.

A second later, he was gone.

Magnus understood what that meant.

He wished he hadn’t.

They found Max’s body floating on the boiling water.


	4. Even if I’m in a different place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First flashback - Magnus (13) and Alec (15)  
> Second flashback - Magnus (7) and Alec (9)  
> Third flashback - Alec (380)

_Even when I try to get far away_   
_The memories are asking us_   
_Even if I’m in a different place_

_Magnus hated those days when Asmodeus locked him up in his bedroom. It has become a common occurrence since Magnus started to refuse more and more to abide by his father’s monstrosities. He couldn’t and wouldn’t tap on the dark magic running through his veins. Not anymore. Alec had been teaching him how to block the urge and focus on light magic._

_So, if the consequences for his choices resulted in a provisory prison, so be it._

_At least, he could still talk to Alec._

_He grinned when another colorful butterfly crossed his window, flying directly to his open hands. Alec’s magic never ceased to amaze Magnus. He remembered watching different butterflies back in his homeland, none similar to the other – they always had different patterns and colors and even sizes. But full of vibrant colors like this?_

_Alec’s magic was beautiful and unique._

_When the butterfly touched his skin, he could hear Alec’s whisper to him._

**I miss you. When do you think we will be able to see each other again?**

_Magnus’ heart fluttered._

_Sweet, sweet Alexander._

_Snapping his fingers to call for his own magic, he conjured an azure butterfly and brought it near his mouth to whisper._

**Miss you too. I honestly don’t know, but I promise I’ll find a way. Wait for me?**

_Then, he kissed the magical butterfly and it dissolved for a moment on his lips before dashing away to the window._

_This kind of spell was something they took a couple of years to master and cast it in a way that wouldn’t alert their guardians through the wards. They infused a sliver of their souls into the core of the spell, so the wards wouldn’t detect the invasion. Asmodeus’ wards would only feel a sputter of Magnus’ magic, as if he was just trying to practice spells inside the castle, and Lilith’s wards would do the same regarding Alexander._

_It was a safe form of communication, something that was only theirs._

_Soon, Alec’s reply arrived._

**Forever.**

_Magnus smiled so much, his cheeks were still hurting when he went to sleep that night._

~*~

Even without the _omamori_ to track Alec down, they still met. Almost every day. Magnus wasn’t sure how – although the majority of the circumstances were due to another murder, which would lead them to another fight, but sometimes it was just pure and strange coincidence. Maybe it was because Magnus awakened something in Alec, maybe it was all the insistence, but Alec seemed less hostile. He still had a very dark energy, never talked and never smiled, but he listened.

He let Magnus stay next to him while they watched the waters of the Hudson or the busy city at some skyscraper. Magnus always did the talk, gradually learning that mentioning something of their mutual past would only trigger bad reactions from Alec and made him flee. So, Magnus only talked about himself, his adventures through the centuries, his work.

Alec listened and… if Magnus was paying attention, he could see Alec’s face soften for a brief moment – always so quick that he felt torn between believing it was real or just wishful thinking.

Meanwhile, almost sure that the real Alexander was still in there, he tried another tactic.

Every day he would send a new magical butterfly like the old times. His questions or statements were very short and never intrusive. Just some “Are you okay?”, “Have you been eating?”, “Don’t you think the night is beautiful today?”

Alec never replied, but Magnus Bane wasn’t one to give up.

Until the day of Max’s death.

Magnus sent a simple “Thank you”, because if it wasn’t for Alec’s hint, they wouldn’t have found the body. Magnus wasn’t really expecting an answer, but one came anyway.

For the first and last time.

**_I’m sorry._ **

~*~

_“Ouch!” Magnus yelped, trying to retreat his bruised arm. Alec, however, didn’t let it go._

_“I’m sorry…” Alec mumbled while trying to bandage the younger warlock’s injury. He wished he knew how to use healing magic. Lilith laughed when he asked her to teach him, and most of the spell books were still too complicated for him to understand. So, following the mundane path of treatment was the only way._

_Fortunately, his magic wasn’t totally useless. Being too young, Magnus was still easy to distract with colorful, sparkling things, and Alec could tell it was something Magnus would keep as a passion for a long time._

_So, while treating Magnus’ injuries, Alec would distract him with wisps of his own magic. For some reason, Alec’s magic was a rainbow of colors. There were so many shades of red, yellow, blue, green, pink, purple, even white. Sometimes, gold or silver. The only color he was never able to muster – for Lilith’s total annoyance – was black. A warlock once told him that one day his magic would become stable enough to choose by itself a signature color._

_He was brought back from his thoughts by an almost inaudible sniffle._

_“Am I hurting you?” He asked, worried. The last thing he wanted was to make Magnus suffer more._

_“No, I was just remembering what happened in the village.”_

_Alec sighed. “Asmodeus still insists on taking you to the mundane realm?”_

_Magnus nodded, shivering slightly._

_“He ordered me to burn another village. There were so many people there… Children like us. I didn’t want to…” Magnus could still hear the desperate screams, could still see the terrified looks on some and the pure hatred and disgust on others. The curses, the screams, the ashes, the blood._

_So. Much. Blood._

_“C’mon here,” Alec gently tugged Magnus, who promptly cuddled against him as if it was the most natural thing to do._

_“They called me a monster. They said my eyes are horrible, a mark of the devil. But I don’t even know Uncle Lucifer…”_

_Alec snorted, but soon shook his head, releasing a deep breath. He cradled Magnus’ face with kind yet calloused hands, and looked directly into his cat-eyes. “Listen to me, Magnus. Your eyes… They are beautiful. You are beautiful. You are the furthest thing from a monster. Don’t ever let someone say otherwise.”_

_With unshed tears, Magnus whimpered, but nodded._

_“I wish papa could say that too. He only tells me mean things or punish me,” he sighed._

_“Parents are cruel sometimes.” Alec knew that better than anyone, the image of his mother seizing his wrists and ankles with heavy shackles, letting him alone in a pool of blood, still fresh in his mind. Then, without an ounce of remorse, lighting up a match before throwing it into the pentagram under him._

_“Can’t we live together, away from here?” Magnus whispered as wishful thinking._

_“It would be nice, but we aren’t strong yet. We would end up dying fast.”_

_“Isn’t it better than this?”_

_Without being able to control himself, Alec let a pained sound escape his lips, a familiar stingy burning his eyes._

_No, Magnus couldn’t die…_

_Tilting his head down, Alec touched Magnus’ forehead with his own, feeling their magic mingling together._

_“When we become adults, I’m going to marry you. You won’t have to live with your father anymore. As your husband, I’ll protect and take care of you, Magnus. Nobody will hurt you again.”_

_“You promise?” Magnus’ eyes slowly bled to a beautiful and vibrant shade of gold, full of wonder and hope._

_“I promise,” Alec kissed Magnus’ forehead, a small gesture that became a habit between them._ _“Forever.”_

_~*~_

_Alec’s soul was cracking. Lilith’s little games to break him were beginning to weigh on his mind. However, he wouldn’t give that satisfaction to her. He preferred to die than to become her puppet._

_“Did you call me?” He asked as soon as he entered the throne’s room, not bothering to bow or show any other form of respect._

_She didn’t deserve any._

_Lilith tutted, putting that same façade of a parent lecturing her naughty kid. “Is that how you greet your mother? The very one who raised you with all her love?”_

_“Love? You don't know what that is,” Alec narrowed his eyes, keeping his stance steady. “Your distorted notion of love is nothing more than obsession and brainwashing.”_

_“Careful.” Her eyes shimmered red for a moment. “You wouldn’t have survived a day when that woman tossed you here, so at least show respect for the one who sheltered you. I’m your mother and you will acknowledge that.”_

_Alec clenched his jaw, glancing downwards, not daring to say another word._

_“What do you think love is, then? Something that Magnus Bane promised you?”_

_At the mention of Magnus’ name, Alec’s eyes shot up. He was about to retort when Lilith snapped her fingers and a lot of different projections filled the room around them._

_All of them had Magnus. Different versions of him, probably different ages if the clothes were any indication. His body was more muscular, his hairstyle changed a lot, and that was makeup? There were so many pieces of jewelry, too. His fingers were heavily decorated with rings, various necklaces adorned his neck, and… Earrings? Piercings? Alec remembered some passerby warlocks talking about their own. Everything in Magnus screamed color, freedom, joy._

_Magnus Bane was shining._

_Just the thought alone was enough to make Alec smile. The mortal realm did wonders for him. He was thriving. All those years of pain and isolation of Alec were worth it if it meant that Magnus was leading a nice life._

_Alec’s heart could be in peace._

_Or not, given the change of projections. For each Magnus, a new person appeared. Men and women._

_Hugging Magnus, kissing Magnus, touching Magnus._

_Making love with Magnus._

_Alec felt his knees go weak, a thunderous beat in his chest threatening to make him deaf._

_And oh, how wonderful would be to turn deaf now, so he wouldn’t have to listen to those moans. Magnus blabbering and moaning, getting lost in lust with all those bodies._

_“Who are you for him?” Lilith’s voice echoed louder than the moans, than the slap of body against body. “He forgot you a long time ago. Love?” She cackled, cruelty and enjoyment mixing to the broken symphony around him, inside him._

_Grabbing his heart, squeezing, squeezing, squeezing._

_“He never tried to come to rescue you. He only used you to escape the claws of his dearest father. Imagine how relieved he must’ve felt when you stayed trapped here.”_

_No, Magnus wasn’t that kind of person. He wasn’t cruel._

Of course he is. He is the son of a Greater Demon. His demon blood is much stronger. He never needed you. 

_Alec closed his eyes tight and covered his ears._

Pathetic, pathetic. Crying like a baby for someone who never cared.

_“Shut up, shut up,” Alec repeated as a mantra, for Magnus’ moans of pleasure or for his own thoughts, he didn’t know._

_“Ah, look at that,” Lilith continued, not bothered by Alec’s breakdown. “She is a pretty vampire! I heard they had a very long and beautiful relationship. He was even considering marrying her. I have to admit, it’s a beautiful couple.”_

_“ **SHUT UP!** ” Alec’s voice thundered, his magic lashing out and breaking all the projections. He fell on his knees, breathing hard._

_In his panic outburst, he didn’t notice black sparkles intertwined with blue ones._

_But Lilith did, and a victorious smile spread on her demonic face._

~*~

In possession of two of three Mortal Instruments, Valentine only needed the Mortal Mirror. The Downworld was in a state of panic. Everyone had a very good idea of what Valentine was going to ask Raziel, and if they didn’t stop him, over half of the Shadow World would be eliminated.

This is why, in a surprising power movement, Shadowhunters and Downworlders made an alliance and got together to hunt Valentine and his goons. Magnus came with the idea of locking up New York, so they wouldn’t be able to get to Idris where the mirror – Lake Lyn – was. Even a powerful warlock as Alec couldn’t overpower dozens of warlocks to create a portal to outside the country.

It worked for a time.

Until the murder mass began.

Valentine threatened to kill one Downworlder per hour if the portal ban for Nephilims wasn’t lifted.

And true to his word, the killing spree took the lives of more than fifty Downworlders in three days. They couldn’t predict who would be the next victim; Seelies locked themselves in their realm. Vampires and Werewolves were terrified of stepping on the streets, and Warlocks disappeared from New York, a few remaining only to keep their special shield up.

From all the warlocks caught on the crossfire, Magnus never thought that one of his dearest friends would find their demise so soon.

It wasn’t fair.

A rift was opened and Ragnor Fell was attacked by several demons at once. He wasn’t even supposed to be in New York. He only came to help Magnus find a way to save Alec and to finally meet Madzie. When Magnus arrived at the scene, it was already too late. He didn’t even have a chance to say goodbye.

Cradling Ragnor’s body, Magnus let himself get lost in grief and regret.

Regret for asking Ragnor to come and help him.

Regret for not trying harder and go to Edom to save Alec before.

The guilt was consuming him, and his cry only got louder and louder. He didn’t stop even when someone approached him – and for his immense surprise, it was Alec. By the blood on his hands, he might’ve killed another Downworlder. Still, Magnus didn’t flinch. Didn’t fear for his own life. He was so tired anyway.

Closing his eyes, he just waited for the attack, at the same time shielding Ragnor’s body from more damage. Instead, what he felt was something lost so long ago, he never thought he would feel again.

Alec’s lips on his forehead. The same gentle one he always gave to Magnus after a nasty fight with Asmodeus or when Magnus was too overwhelmed to deal with their reality.

A kiss that always said _I’m here._

_I’m sorry._

_Don’t be sad._

_I love you._

Magnus sobbed hard, and when he opened his eyes, he saw again a glimpse of hazel eyes amidst the black ocean. But before he could utter any word, Alec was gone. Again.

Would he ever be used to being left behind by Alec?

That night, Magnus cried himself to sleep.


	5. We will meet again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First flashback - Magnus (11) and Alec (13)  
> Second and third flashback - Alec (397)  
> Fouth and fifth flashback - Magnus (18) and Alec (20)

_It’s okay even if it’s a little late_   
_If it’s destiny_   
_We will meet again_

_Giggles echoed in the air, making Alec’s lips curl upwards. He would never get tired of seeing Magnus being a happy kid and having so much fun. It wasn’t easy, though. Those were stolen moments from when they were able to escape their respective castles – or prisons, semantics._

_Alec knew they should be training to become stronger and one day run away from Edom, but he couldn’t deny some time for Magnus to just play. He was still a child after all, he deserved to feel the joy of games and laughs and dreams._

_For now, Alec was satisfied just watching him throwing big chunks of meat to some baby Shax demons. Since they found a way to summon food from the nearest demon city, Magnus would… take one thing or another without the owners knowing. It wasn’t stealing, of course not. If someone noticed, they could charge Asmodeus. Alec didn’t think it would be that simple, but Magnus always waved it off stating that his father was rich and could deal with angry demons._

_Alec grinned. Magnus was a total brat, and certainly would become a very powerful – and little shit – warlock growing up._

_The baby Shax demons followed Magnus like puppies, and Alec wouldn’t put it past him to actually begin to groom them like such. He would be more amused if his train of thought didn’t get interrupted by a weak whimper somewhere close. Magnus heard it too, stopping playing. They both shared a long, meaningful look, then ran to the source of that sound._

_Not too far from where they were, they found a hellhound puppy under a pile of stones. Alec promptly lifted them with his magic while Magnus carefully took the puppy in his arms._

_“She is hurt…” Magnus mumbled, trying to access the extension of the hellhound’s injuries. They knew the differences between male and female hellhounds, and how the packs worked. It wasn’t hard to guess that one was abandoned by its own pack and left to die alone._

_“I learned some healing spells. You could summon bandages and we could help her,” Alec’s magic was still swirling around his fingertips, ready to offer more of its power. Magnus nodded, and together they worked to patch the puppy up._

_When she was finally sleeping – after eating the best beef Magnus could summon –, they kept vigil while gently petting her._

_“Do you think papa will be too angry if I take her with me?” Magnus asked, not wanting to let her alone again, especially in her condition._

_“I don’t know. Maybe he wouldn’t care, maybe he would use her to make you obey him.” Alec shrugged. He knew how manipulative Asmodeus was, and he had to work a lot to make Magnus realize the same._

_Magnus sighed, unsure of what to do._

_“We could cast some protective spells on her,” Alec offered, then glanced around. “Maybe put a ward against other demons in that grotto we always meet up.”_

_It was a simple idea, but Magnus’ whole face lit up with a beaming smile._

_“Let’s do that! How about I put the spells into a collar? That way we will be sure she is protected and we can track her if needed.”_

_Alec nodded, agreeing. “We will need to give her a name, though. Any idea?”_

_Magnus considered for a moment, and Alec couldn’t help a smile at that sight. Every time Magnus got too serious, he would narrow his eyes and pucker his lips up while deep in thought. It was adorable._

_“Ah! What about Indah? It’s from my people. It means_ 'beautiful'.” _Magnus tickled the pup’s chin, receiving some licks in turn. He cooed in delight. “She is definitely the most beautiful hellhound ever born.”_

_“You’re biased,” Alec pointed out, teasing._

_“I am. After all…” Magnus glanced up at Alec and smiled – free and happy. “She is ours now.”_

~*~

Valentine was dead.

It has been a terrible close call, but they did it. Minutes before he could raise the Angel, Clary and Jace interrupted him, letting Magnus, Izzy and Jonathan deal with Alec. The combined abilities of the three together overpowered the warlock, but something inside Magnus told him Alec wasn’t trying to put much of a fight. He could see some blue sparks in-between all the black, and wondered if that was a good signal.

When Clary stabbed Valentine while Jace cut his throat, Alec screamed. He fell on his knees, black magic surrounding him and _burning_. Without Valentine as a tether in the mortal realm from his deal with Lilith, Alec hadn’t control over his magic or what rested of his soul. It would consume him until nothing more remained.

It had been Lilith’s plan all along if Valentine failed.

While the Shadowhunters didn’t know what to do about that, Magnus was already running to him. The dark magic hurt a lot, but he didn’t care. He hugged Alec who – despite suffering and thrashing around in pain – tried to push him away. Magnus only held tighter, refusing to let him go. He used his own magic to try and contain Alec’s, but the resistance was too strong. It was killing Alec.

“Stop…” Alec pleaded, and oh… that voice again. How he missed it. “You have to let me go, Magnus. I’m not worth you anymore. Just… let me die.”

“No! Stop pushing me away, dammit. You did it once and I’m not letting you do it again!”

A small smile formed on Alec’s lips. His conscience was coming back slowly, but he also knew what that meant.

He didn’t have much time.

With shaky fingers, he took Indah’s collar that he kept with him all this time – a brief moment of control soon after what he did. Magnus’ eyes widened with the realization of what that meant, and he felt them burn with unshed tears.

“Oh my baby girl…” He took the collar and rested against his chest, mourning another dear friend.

How much more he was going to lose until his heart got irreparably broken?

“I’m sorry… for not protecting her…” Alec’s voice became weaker by the minute, his skin feverish and his half hazel, half black eyes turning glazy.

“Alexander?” Magnus called, alarmed, trying to keep the warlock upright. “Hey, stay with me, okay? We are going to get you help. Just stay with me, please?”

Alec whimpered. One more promise he was going to break.

He couldn’t stay.

Darkness called him.

~*~

_“Indah, I don’t have much time…”_

_Alec was finally breaking. He tried so hard, fighting, resisting every day. But after centuries of pain and darkness, eventually the soul breaks. And this was what terrified Alec the most. He didn’t want to lose himself. Even if he was never going to see Magnus again, to lose the only good part of his life forever… All the memories and feelings and…_

_Love._

_He would finally become the monster Lilith always desired. He still wasn’t sure what her plan was, but he had the impression he would find out as soon as she came back from the mortal realm. So, this was his last chance._

_“Come here, girl,” his voice was weak, the sounds barely forming. However, Indah understood him – she always understood. Approaching Alec’s hunched form on the floor, they touched foreheads – an old habit that brought comfort for both of them._

_Releasing a shaking breath, Alec touched the center of his chest with one hand and Indah’s collar with the other._

_“I don’t have much energy, so you will have to help me a bit, okay?”_

_Indah left a soft sound escape, something very akin to a cry. Closing his eyes, Alec let his magic wash him in slow waves, ultimately converging most of it to his core._

_He knew Lilith was going to win. She was going to corrupt his soul and control him._

No.

_Alec started to chant a very old yet powerful spell. His last resort._

Not everything.

_A bright blue glow emerged from his chest, beautiful and ethereal, latching itself into the ruby pendant on Indah’s collar. The spell to transfer one’s soul to an inanimate object was dangerous and unstable – forbidden even –, but it was the only way to preserve a piece of himself. Without more than half of his soul, his fate would be sealed for once and Lilith would have absolute power over him, but it was a bet he was willing to make. Only a powerful demon or warlock would be able to restore that piece of soul from the collar to his body, but until then…_

_He would welcome the darkness._

~*~

_Indah howled in pain, trashing on the dirty floor of the castle._

_She cried until her last breath, her flesh being engulfed by a dark flame that burned her from inside out. A flame that still licked Alec’s fingers like a caress, singing alongside his tainted magic, his tainted blood, his tainted eyes. Gone was the warm hazel, leaving only a dull and lifeless black._

_“My, my, my. What a beautiful sight,” Lilith hummed, satisfied with Alec’s first task. “You are much better like this, my sweetie puppy.” She touched Alec’s cheek with tenderness at first, soon craving her long nails into the pale skin. Blood poured from each mark, but the warlock didn’t even flinch._

_Lilith licked her bloody fingers, almost moaning with the taste. “If I haven’t already sold you to Valentine Morgenstern, I would have loved to take you to my bed. But, I promised to not play with you to avoid any damages. What a shame.”_

_While circling him to have a better look at the empty shell Alec has turned into, she ended up hitting the empty vial glass where a potion was minutes ago. Her smile became feral. How beautiful and twisted to have Alec’s own lover to make a potion who condemned himself?_

_“I really want to keep you myself,” she taunted, even though Alec wasn’t capable of showing reactions anymore. “But Morgenstern offered me a very good deal. A soulless weapon in exchange for a Nephilim baby per year for ten years. What a big family I’ll have.” She laughed delighted. “And it wasn’t even that difficult to convince Asmodeus to retrieve the mark he put on you when I said that he would have the pleasure of watching you and his son tearing each other apart.”_

_Lilith’s laugh echoed for a long time even after she was gone, leaving Alec with a charred collar from Indah on the floor and a broken ring on his chest._

~*~

Busying himself with clients always worked when Magnus had too many things in his mind and needed to focus on something else before combusting. The aftermath of Valentine’s demise was a relief for the Shadow World, but while everyone was out there celebrating, Magnus couldn’t help but feel he also lost.

After passing out, Alec was taken by Izzy and the others, and locked in one of the Institute’s cells with the highest level of wards possible. They also put runed cuffs on him to neutralize his magic.

Magnus hated seeing Alec like that, like a caged animal.

His trial would be in two days, a rare joint one made of both Nephilim and Warlocks to seal Alec’s fate. Magnus could only pray they would listen to him and give Alec some leniency on his punishment. Although what he did with Valentine was abhorrent, yes, he was clearly under control. He didn’t deserve to get the death sentence for something he was forced to do.

Alec had a kind soul. He didn’t deserve all that pain.

While mixing some ingredients for a potion to fall out of love a vampire requested the night before, Magnus couldn’t help but think why someone would want something like that. When love was so ingrained in one’s heart, ripping it off would leave a void and make the person more susceptible to bad suggestions – be it from their own minds or from others. And it even involved taking a sliver of one’s soul and…

The glass vial Magnus was holding slipped from his grasp and crashed hard on the floor.

Oh no.

Hurriedly, he took out his phone and dialed Catarina’s number, asking her to come as soon as she was available.

It took three hours, and when she finally arrived, Magnus had already drunk one-third of his drinks cabinet.

“What have you done now, Magnus Bane?” She sighed in lieu of a greeting. Catarina knew that Magnus only drank that much after doing something very, _very_ stupid.

“I need you to do a checkup on me,” he started, quickly adding when she raised one eyebrow. “On my soul.”

“Your soul? Why? You know it’s tricky magic.”

“Yes, and this is why I need a professional healer like you. If I did that myself, I’d certainly mess something up.” And when she just continued to stare at him without moving, he took her hands and squeezed a bit. “Please, Cat. I promise it’s important.”

Exhaling deeply, she nodded and called her magic, infusing it on him to look for what he asked.

After some minutes, she stopped the motions with a small frown, wrapping up her exam.

“So?”

“It’s… It’s strong and bright, but…” Her frown deepened and she tilted her head slightly. “It’s lacking a fragment. A very small one, barely visible, but clearly not there.”

Magnus’ face turned grimmer, and he had to close his eyes after having his inference verified.

_Fuck dammit._

“Do you remember that warlock who came to me eight months ago and asked for a potion to fall out of love?”

“The one who knocked you out after because she didn’t want to pay and fled? I remember it was a punch to your ego,” Catarina smirked, but Magnus couldn’t give a smile back, trying to force down the lump on his throat.

“I think she wasn’t worried about the money. I think she took part of my soul.” Saying it out loud was even more painful, the truth terrifying him.

“What? But why? To make someone fall out of love from you?” Cat’s expression was somber now.

“Yes, and I guess I know exactly who.” He had to blink a couple of times when he felt a sting on the corner of his eyes.

Catarina seemed to have reached the same conclusion as him, almost flinching.

“Oh no.”

He cleared his throat, trying to keep his tears at bay. “Yeah…”

“But, you said he was already showing signs of remembering you. This shouldn’t be possible unless only part of his soul was corrupted, and the potion doesn’t work that way. It affects the whole soul, erasing memories and destroying affections from the heart. He wasn’t supposed to feel anything for you, Magnus.”

“Yet, he still feels.” Magnus finally gave a small, tentative smile. “I saw him, Cat. He was fighting the control. Maybe something snapped, I don’t know. Even if he gets the imprisonment sentence, perhaps I can get some kind of therapy approved and try to make him remember things, adjust him to this realm.”

“If he survives the current instability of his magic.”

Magnus’ eyes shot up to her, afraid.

“You saw him.”

“Yes, the Institute called me to make a diagnostic for the transfer. They thought you weren’t in a good state of mind to give a proper statement.”

“Of course they would think like that…” He grumbled, refilling his glass of whiskey.

Silence fell on them for some minutes, until Catarina broke it.

“I still can’t understand how he remembered you.”

Magnus shrugged. “I’m impossible to be forgotten, dear.”

Cat snorted. “Yeah, big head. But I’m serious, Magnus. Do you think there is a chance he split his soul before taking the potion? It would explain the corruption and the instability of his magic.”

Magnus considered that for a moment. “Alexander has always been very smart, I wouldn’t put past him to make something like that. But he would have to put the other part somewhere to preserve it.”

“The few people who did that in the past would put the other part in a safe or a vault to make sure it wouldn’t be taken. If he was having glimpses of emotions towards you, it means he kept the other part with him all the time, and somehow it was bleeding through his magic. Perhaps triggered by the connection he shared with you.”

Magnus hummed. For that to be possible, Alexander would have to put his soul into some object, but when they locked him up, he wasn’t carrying anything besides the ring Magnus made to him a long time ago – a ring that was broken, but Alec kept anyway. And a broken object wouldn’t be able to behold such strong magic.

There was only Indah’s collar he gave to Magnus before being arrested–

“Fuck,” he swore, getting up with a jump and dashing to his apothecary where he left the collar. Snapping his fingers and letting his magic engulf Indah’s collar, it didn’t take time for him to find what he was looking for.

A bubble of laughter escaped his mouth and something akin to hope warmed his heart.

“It’s here, Cat!” He turned to his friend who followed him to the apothecary. “His soul. And it’s not a small portion. I can feel most of it here.”

“It’s not a surprise he was so easily controlled then.” Cat sighed, already dreading the question she was about to make – because she would hate the answer. “What are you going to do now?”

“Give it back to him, of course.”

“He is too unstable, Magnus. It’s too late. We don’t know what's going to happen if you get near him.”

“I don’t care. I promised myself that I wouldn’t give up on him and I won’t.” He turned to Catarina and offered her a sad smile. “We spent centuries apart, and I… I never stopped loving him, Cat. If there is a chance for us, I want to take it with all my strength. Also…” Magnus’ shoulders slumped. “I was the one who made that fucking potion. He is like that because of me. I would never forgive myself if I don’t try to save him. I owe him that.”

Catarina took him by the elbows and pulled him on a tight embrace.

“You are going to come back, are you listening, Magnus Bane?”

“Oh dear, have you met me? I’m the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Of course I’m coming back.”

~*~

_“What do you want to see the most in the mortal realm?”_

_Magnus was rested comfortably against Alec’s body, cooling his heated body thanks again to Alec’s fur. They were taking a lot of risks lately, but they couldn’t keep themselves away from each other for a long time._

_They needed the touch, the slow kisses, the reassurance that the other was still there._

_“The ocean. I miss it,” Magnus smiled, dreamily. “I want to learn how to swim. I don’t want to be afraid of water anymore. Will you teach me?”_

_“I don’t know how to swim, Magnus,” Alec shook his head, but couldn’t stop smiling too. “We can learn together.”_

_“We can,” Magnus agreed and cuddle Alec even more._

_They made so many plans for when they were finally free. They would build a house in some village; they would fish and collect fruits. Perhaps work at some farm._

_One day, they would get married. Adopt children and a lot of cats. After some decades, they would gather their things and start again in another place._

_While the world evolved, they would evolve too. Always together, always loving each other._

_“And if we fight?” Alec once asked teasingly._

_“Then I’ll be mad with you. You will be mad with me. We will suck it up and apologize.”_

_“Wow, when did you become so smart, Magnus Bane?” Alec nuzzled his nose along Magnus’, stopping only to glance up and lost himself a little more at golden eyes full of love._

_“Have you met me, darling? I’m_ amazing _._ ” _Magnus’ eyes twinkled and he winked to give more effect._

_“And already have an ego bigger than your head,” Alec laughed and Magnus retaliated hitting his chest._

_“Shut up.”_

_“Make me.”_

_And Magnus did until the only air breathed came from the other._

_Until no more words were necessary._

_Until the only melody their magic sang was_ I love you, I love you, I love you.

_~*~_

When Magnus arrived at the Institute, something very serious was clearly happening. The alarms were off, red light going on and off, and the Shadowhunters were scattered all over the place. Magnus ignored one that snarled about his presence and went towards Clary who was furiously typing something on the central computer.

“Biscuit, what is happening?”

“Magnus, thank the Angel. I was about to call you,” she opened a window with the camera's feed from the cells, and what Magnus saw made his eyes wide in terror. “His energy is out of control, it’s affecting our system and turning everything offline. The Clave will emit an official order to kill him on spot without a trial if he doesn’t stop that.” She glanced an apologetic look at him.

“I’m going there now.” He didn’t even hear her protests. Not wanting to waste a second more, he opened a portal directly to the outside of the cell where Isabelle, Jace and Jonathan were, all geared up and armed to the teeth.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jace snarled and fuck, Magnus didn’t have time for that.

“I know how to stop that, but you will have to leave me alone with him.”

“Magnus, you can’t. He is too dangerous right now and could kill you,” Izzy tried to reason, but only got an angry, unglamoured piercing gaze as a response. Bright golden cat-eyes looked at the Shadowhunters, and they never heard Magnus’ voice so low and dangerous.

“I suggest you evacuate the Institute if you don’t want any casualties. And if anyone dares to stop me, I swear by Lucifer I won’t stay put.”

Jace and Jonathan wanted to protest, but Izzy raised a hand to stop them. Then, looking at Magnus with steady eyes, she nodded.

“I’ll give you half an hour. When the time is up, if nothing has changed, we will have to act whether you like it or not, Magnus.”

Magnus’ lips curled up in a slow, dangerous smile.

“It’s always a pleasure to do business with you, Isabelle.”

Izzy nodded again, this time a bit more sadly, then retreated. The _parabatai_ duo followed soon, leaving Magnus alone with Alec. When he turned around, he saw his warlock curled on the floor, trembling from time to time, a blue spiral of magic dancing around him.

When he approached, Alec flinched hard, but bravely lifted his head to look at Magnus.

“Why?” He croaked. His eyes were red and puffy, all the memories from the last months tormenting him.

“Because…” Magnus started, crouching in front of him and giving a true, heartfelt smile. “You promised to ask me to marry you. I’m still waiting, Alexander.”

Alec whimpered again, tears flowing from his eyes as if a dam got broken.

“I missed you, Magnus,” he sobbed, and Magnus couldn’t bear anymore.

After almost four hundred years, he threw himself at Alec’s arms and hugged the one man he loved more than life itself.

They didn’t know how much time they spent like that, but they inevitably broke the embrace after Alec gasped in pain. His magic was transitioning between blue and black, and dark veins started to bloom under his skin. His eyes were hazel again, but dull and almost unseeing.

“I know what you did to preserve your soul. I brought it to put it back where it belongs,” Magnus caressed Alec’s cheek with one hand while the other held the ruby pendant of Indah’s collar.

Closing his eyes to nuzzle his face against Magnus’ palm, new tears trailed down Alec’s face.

“It’s too late. My soul is too broken, Magnus. If you try to seal them together, I may die.”

As an afterthought, Alec was sure that it would be better for everyone? For Magnus? He could finally go on without having to worry about the ghost of their lives on Edom. Yes, he was going to tell that to Magnus, but the other warlock seemed to understand his thoughts perfectly.

Magnus was always great at reading Alec, time never changed that.

“The spell I’m going to cast will take a part of my soul to stabilize yours. I don’t know what it’s going to actually happen, but whatever it is, this time I’ll be with you.”

“Magnus, you can’t–”

“Yes, yes, I can. You can’t throw me at a portal again, Alexander. I’m much stronger than you now,” Magnus winked at him, trying to lighten the mood.

Alec didn’t laugh as he used to do, but he also didn’t protest.

Honestly, he was too tired. So, he would do the only thing he could at that moment.

He trusted Magnus.

After receiving a nod from Alec, Magnus lowered the hand on Alec’s face to his chest, while the one holding the ruby rested on his own chest. With new tears sliding down his face, Magnus chanted the ancient words to activate the spell. The ruby began to shine, resonating through Magnus’ core. Magnus’ chest glowed for a moment, and as soon as it stopped, he changed his hands' position. Now, the one holding the ruby was against Alec’s chest, pushing the globe of light into Alec’s heart.

The air crackled with such intensity, a whirlwind of pure blue magic engulfed both of them, strong enough to break the cell’s glass wall.

“It hurts...” Alec whimpered, trying to keep his eyes open.

“I know, my love, I know. Just a bit more.”

“It will destroy our minds, Magnus…”

“Yes,” Magnus swallowed, but gently nuzzled his nose along Alec’s. “But not our souls or our magic. Our magic will always remember, Alec.”

“You promise?” Alec rested his forehead on Magnus’, needing that precious contact so particular for them.

“I promise. We are going to find each other again.”

Between whispers and tears, their bodies started to disintegrate with the weight of their magic.

“I love you, Magnus.”

“I love you, Alexander.”

Then, an explosion. The entire Institute shook violently for some time, but its structure held strong and didn’t collapse.

When the smoke subsided, Alec and Magnus had disappeared.

~*~

_It took years, but at last they found a way to escape Edom. Asmodeus and Lilith were bonded to the realm, but they weren’t. However, multidimensional travel wasn’t an easy task, especially for young warlocks like them, but they were ready. They planned everything thoroughly, even including Indah in their arrangements. She was a good creature, surely with a strong glamour she could pass as just a big dog._

_When the day arrived, they met at their usual place – far, far away from both castles, and together drew the intrinsic pentagram that would be used as a gate for the mortal realm._

_Despite the hope and giddiness of finally leaving that miserable wasteland to start over in a better place, they were still very worried. For one, they didn’t know if they would really go to the mortal realm – or what place there they would end up landing. But it was a necessary risk if they wanted to escape that literal hell._

_The most important thing was to stay together._

_Together, they could deal with anything._

_After chanting the final words, a shimmering purple hole opened on the ground, and they could see what seemed to be the outskirts of a village._

_“We did it, Alexander!” Magnus threw himself into his lover’s open arms, peppering his face with kisses._

_Alec laughed, hugging Magnus equally tight. “Yes, we did it!” He then got hold of one of Magnus’ hands and pulled him towards the portal. “Let’s go now,” he said before whistling to Indah to follow them._

_However, they barely gave two steps forward when a red lasso seized Alec and pulled him back._

_“Alexander!” Magnus yelled, but couldn’t protect his boyfriend. Alec gasped in horror, the demonic magic restraining him from neck to ankles, bidding his arms against his body._

_“Where do you think you are running to, son?”_

_Magnus felt a cold dread deep in his bones. That voice._

_Asmodeus._

_Following the red lasso, he soon met the same cat-eyes he inherited – though his father’s were more terrifying ones. Magnus gulped. This wasn’t good._

_“Release him, father. I promise I won’t go anywhere, but don’t hurt Alexander.”_

_Asmodeus snickered, but remained impassive._

_“I thought I'd taught you better how to bargain. It looks like you are still a disappointment,” the Greater Demon sent a pulse through the lasso and Alec screamed. “You are lucky that I can’t smash this bug, or else I’d be breaking the deal I made with Lilith. But you, son, I won’t tolerate your defiance anymore. Your heart makes you weak,” Asmodeus spat. “I’ll break it until you learn to whom you should be loyal.”_

_Alec’s eyes widened in panic. No. He had to save Magnus. He had to…_

_Red sparkles swirled around Magnus’ hands. Alec knew what that meant. If Magnus attacked his father now, it would be the end for them. They couldn’t win against a Prince of Hell in his own territory. At least not now, when they were still learning how to control and strengthen their powers. Maybe in two or three centuries, but now… Now…_

_“Magnus,” Alec called his lover, his voice surprisingly calm and stable. “Do you still have that list we made of all the places we wanted to visit together? All the things we wanted to do together?”_

_“Of course, Alexander. But why are you ask—”_

_“Do it. Everything. For me. For us,” Alec pleaded, a single tear rolling down his face._

_Usually, a warlock needed their hands to cast a spell. However, there were few spells that – with a lot of training – were easily cast in other ways. If there was one thing Alec learned while living with Lilith was that he needed to be always three steps ahead of any expectations._

_And being a specialist in ice and wind magic, how couldn’t he learn those other ways?_

_“Alec, what are you—”_

_“I love you,” Alec cut Magnus again because he needed to, he had to say those words again._

_For the last time._

_“Be happy. I love you, Magnus Bane.”_

_Before Magnus could say or do anything, Alec inhaled hard and blew as hard as he could, putting all his magic in that. The magical wind was potent enough to knock Magnus back, making him fall directly into the open portal._

_The last thing Alec saw was Magnus’ wide, terrified eyes._

_He could only pray that Magnus would forgive him one day…_

_“Indah!” Alec yelled, the hellhound obeying immediately. She ran to the pentagram, but instead of jumping into it too, she only scratched the ground, cutting the connection and closing the portal._

_“ **No!** ” Asmodeus roared, but it was too late. When he approached the portal, any magical trail vanished in thin air. Furious, he turned to Alec, who didn’t even flinch before the Greater Demon. He’d already lost the only good thing he had, why bother with his own life? If this way he could protect Magnus, so be it._

_“You. You are going to pay for that,” Asmodeus impaled Alec’s chest and grabbed his heart, squeezing it. Alec gasped feebly, feeling his entire body burn. “You are now tethered to this realm as much as I am. This is my curse for you, Lilith’s son. Even if Magnus comes back to get you, you won’t be able to follow him. You are going to rot here,” he finished, taking his hand back. Alec slumped to the ground, the red lasso also releasing him._

_In a blink of eyes, Asmodeus was gone._

_Alec saw dark spots clouding his vision, magic depletion threatening to drag him to oblivion. However, there was still one last thing he needed to do. Putting both hands on the scorching sand, he sent a pulse of magic to the realm’s core, using the last bits of energy he still had._

_“Magnus Bane, you can’t ever come back to Edom. It won’t accept you anymore,” Alec stated with certainty, and the realm responded to it._

_If he was banned from the mortal realm, then Magnus was banned from Edom. That way, Asmodeus would never have the chance to put his hands on Magnus again._

_Magnus… Magnus would be free._

_And they… would never see each other again._

_Alec whimpered, finally allowing himself to mourn the other half of his heart he has just let go._


	6. Epilogue

_Some day  
I hope I can love you all I want_

**114 years after Valentine’s demise – Alicante**

“I know, Cat, I know. I’m coming. Just wait a little more. The meeting with the Clave was dreadful. I don’t know why I accepted this job. Yeah, yeah.”

The world has changed a lot since the Circle rebellion. It was strange to be considered a hero of the war without remembering anything of it. Magnus simply woke up one day without any memories, except for his name.

He had luck, though. He woke up at his friend’s home. At least, Catarina Loss introduced herself as such. Gradually, she filled blank spaces of his life, first explaining that he spent almost sixty years on a magical coma after the Shadow World’s victory against Valentine. She, however, never told him the reason, and he never insisted – if it was important, she would have told him.

Catarina also told him about the friends he lost during the war and the ones who died while he slept. To his surprise, there were even Shadowhunters amidst the ones he called friends – although only one of them was still alive, Isabelle Lightwood, and her old age was already affecting her memories. Like him, she didn’t remember much about the post-war. It seemed that the trauma caused by the loss of her brother blocked some events.

What bothered Magnus the most was the feeling he was missing someone. It didn’t matter how many names or faces Cat showered him. He knew one was amiss.

One Catarina refused to tell. It was frustrating, but she insisted to say that it was someone who only hurt him, and it was better if he didn’t remember them at all. Magnus argued that it was his choice, but Catarina could be as stubborn as him.

In the end, without choice, he just started anew.

Magnus spent some years traveling around the world until a fire message from Alicante requested his presence. For his huge surprise, they wanted to offer him the position of High Warlock of Alicante.

Well, how the tables turned during the last years.

Fortunately, he didn’t have difficulties to adjust himself in the Glass City. He loved to help his people – which was still a challenge amidst so many Shadowhunters. But he was fine.

He was happy.

And after a long meeting with the Clave, the only thing he wanted was to portal to New York and visit Cat and Madzie. Humming, he crossed a street and was about to enter his building when something caught his attention at a small vendor’s stand. Omamori charms.

Why… that sound so familiar? He felt especially attracted by a red and golden one. Weird. Maybe he collected that kind of charm before? He made a mental note to ask Cat later.

A tall man wearing a long coat with his head covered brushed past Magnus, and Magnus’ magic reacted immediately. The man stopped, back still to Magnus, and lifted his hands. Blue wisps were also flying uncontrollably from them. The man turned to Magnus and lowered his hoodie to better see him. When their eyes met, it was like something finally, _finally_ clicked in place.

Magnus’ jaw dropped slightly with the beauty of that man. Messy ink-black hair, bright hazel eyes, a clean-shaved face. The only thing he wore that wasn't black was the curious broken ring he carried as a pendant around his neck.

Well, he was already late. Cat could wait a bit more.

“Hello, I’m Magnus Bane,” he approached and extended a hand to the stranger.

“Alec,” the man took Magnus’ hand, grinning.

The moment their hands touched, a whirlwind of blue magic circled them.

Slowly, their fragmented memories started to come back.

_“Who are you?”_

_“Uh... Alexander.”_

_“My name is Magnus. I’m six, and I live with my papa in a castle. Alec is cool, but I like Alexander more.”_

_“I’m eight, and I live in a castle too. And I very much like your name.”_

_"I don’t mind rings, but the day I wear one will be the same day I also put one on your finger.”_

_“To bring you luck and protection.”_

_“When we become adults, I’m going to marry you. You won’t have to live with your father anymore. As your husband, I’ll protect and take care of you, Magnus. Nobody will hurt you again.”_

_“You promise?”_

_“I promise. Forever.”_

“Magnus.”

_“Listen to me, Magnus. Your eyes… They are beautiful. You are beautiful. You are the furthest thing from a monster. Don’t ever let someone say otherwise.”_

_“Why is your heart beating so fast?”_

_“Because you are here. It beats for you. It will forever beat for only you, Magnus Bane.”_

_I miss you. When do you think we will be able to see each other again?_

_Miss you too. I honestly don’t know, but I promise I’ll find a way. Wait for me?_

_Forever._

“Alexander.”

_“You are so cute when you’re serious.”_

_“Stop flirting with me.”_

_“I’m going to kiss you now, Alexander.”_

_“Please.”_

_“Be happy. I love you, Magnus Bane.”_

“I found you.”

_“Magnus…”_

_“Yes, it’s me. Come here, love, please. Come to me.”_

_"I'm sorry."_

_“Our magic will always remember, Alec.”_

_“You promise?”_

_“I promise. We are going to find each other again.”_

_“I love you, Magnus.”_

_“I love you, Alexander.”_

They stared at each other, tears streaming on Alec’s face and mirrored by Magnus'.

“I found you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> I don't have twitter, but you can always come to talk to me on [Tumblr](https://thelightofthebane.tumblr.com/)!


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